also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
