Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
