What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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