I wish i was in the wii world.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
