So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Your dad touched me again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
