I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
