Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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