i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
