..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My breath smells like gin and sadness
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
