Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
