Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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