I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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