Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Can Purell be used as lube?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize