"it" just moved
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize