some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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