You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
