i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
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So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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