OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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