After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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