Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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