Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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