is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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