Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
