i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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