why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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