So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
