I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
