blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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