I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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