It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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