i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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