I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
