Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
