The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
