hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
