Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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