He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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