Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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