well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
