The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she told me i tasted like america
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
