the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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