So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize