"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
