Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
