Yo dont text me then not text me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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