You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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