you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
