Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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