my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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