I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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