yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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