Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
