he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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