I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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