You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
