My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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