he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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